72 Hours in Beijing — The Sleepy Cheese

Apr 5

Apr 5 72 Hours in Beijing

This is the first entry in my month long trip around the world! First stop: Beijing (from Boston).

Beijing

I looked forward to visiting Beijing the way one would look forward to their first colonoscopy. That is to say, not very much. Why? Because from what I had read, China seems to have distilled every unpleasant habit or cultural behavior to its most basic form, and unleashed these practices among the twelve million residents of the city. Take spitting. It’s everywhere. Kids, adults, the elderly, they all spit and they all spit all the time. Deep, lung-rattling, New England oyster-size spitting. Not into a tissue, or napkin, just out into the world, and letting it fall wherever gravity deems a good spot. So yeah, I wasn't super excited about this part of the trip, but that's part of traveling. It's many things, but rarely boring. Teresa joined me on this portion of the trip, and will stay with me through Sri Lanka. Ready for adventure, we jumped right in.

China first impressions. Where do we start - how about crowd behavior? Well, if you enjoy subtle hand-to-hand combat with a 90-year-old woman, then you will love getting in line at a temple ticket booth. Or checking out at a convenience store. Or walking up the Great Wall. There are more elbows thrown here walking across a crosswalk than in all the kickboxing matches in Thailand. Really, line behavior is a misnomer, because often there isn’t line, just a mass of humanity, pressing, kicking, elbowing, and clawing its way to the front. Getting on and off the subway resembles a Game of Thrones-style battle. There might not be swords, but I did see nunchucks.

Shouting? There is a lot of it. Yes, I know, it’s a cultural thing, and there are tonal and speech pattern differences that I should not assign a value judgment to, but when you have been screamed at by a night market vendor because he didn’t like the bill you tried to give him, you may see things a little differently. Everything here is just...louder.

Then there is the city itself. The Grey City it’s called, and with good reason. Not only is it covered in grey paint, or unpainted grey concrete, it’s also covered in grey smog. Lung filling, eye-irritating, throat-choking (okay, maybe now I understand all the spitting) smog.

Smells? Oh, there are plenty of rich aromas. The smell of fresh seafood, ripe fruit, raw sewage, rotting garbage, and urine waft along the air, blanketing the city in eye-watering scents that just can’t be missed. It’s a city that will make you feel something, without question, and you won’t leave without forming a strong opinion about it.

Visitors to Beijing who stay less than 72 hours are not required to get a visa, and this timeline matched our travels plans perfectly. We spent our first day touring the city, dodging puddles of urine or piles of human excrement (seems like the only thing forbidden inside the Forbidden Palace is to use the actual bathroom) Temple of Heaven, and the next day on a tour of the Great Wall.

I also sadly report that I struck out again in my unofficial quest to the see the preserved bodies of deceased communist leaders. Ho Chi Minh’s body had just returned from Russia when I was visiting Hanoi but wasn’t yet on display, and in Beijing, Chairman Mao’s Mausoleum was inexplicably closed the weekend we were here. I’m holding out hope for Russia and North Korea – fingers crossed.

The Great Wall turned out to pretty fun. We hired a private car and left early in the morning. If you have any plans of arrive anywhere before it gets busy with tourist, go ahead and bury those plans, because it won't happen. At best, you can get somewhere before it gets slammed, spoons-in-a-drawer packed, but it will never, ever be free of people. The section we toured was built up at the base to resemble a large outdoor shopping mall, but the wall itself was still remarkable. It's massive and inspiring, and worth every yuan it cost to get there. We took the toboggan down from the top, because FUN.

I know I sound like I'm being hard on China. Beijing wasn't all bad by any means, and there are signs it's making progress on cleaning up it's image. The subway was almost spotless, for example, and the area around the Forbidden Palace and Tiananmen Square were also clean, thanks to the Sisyphean efforts of an army of street sanitation attendants. The night markets are a riot - vibrant and packed with adventurous foods and sights and smells. The colors and atmosphere are really fun and exciting, and can't be missed. Just be mindful of all the people eating various creatures from skewers, it seems way to easy to lose an eye this way. Check out exhibit A: