Big Ears and Hot Lights: Chiang Mai

I can only assume I was a real asshole in a previous life, and that flying six hours on an AirAsia flight from Tokyo to Bangkok was supposed to count towards some ongoing penance that must be paid. Really, anyone who flies AirAsia should have those hours counted toward any community service, or actually jail time they they might ever have to serve, it’s that bad. Terrible flight aside, we arrived in Thailand in the “cool” season, which puts the temperature and humidity levels somewhere between a camel’s sweaty butt crack and your armpit after a ten mile run. After a quick overnight in Bangkok (where jetlag hit me like a ton of bricks) we flew on to Chiang Mai. This was our fist time to Thailand for everyone (Tara and I were joined by Tara’s friend Ann) and we were looking forward to packing as much in as possible.

Tara and Ann - this was Tara’s first tuktuk ride!

Chiang Mai, like much of Southeast Asia, alternates between gorgeous natural beauty and a polluted hot mess. LA in the 1970’s called: it wants its terrible air quality back. Yes, that was bad, but so is the pollution. And keep in mind, this wasn’t even the burning season, which is in the spring; this was the nice time of year. Despite the asthma inducing atmosphere, Chiang Mai proved to be quite charming overall. It’s certainly a tourist and expat hotspot, but still manages to retain a lot of local charm and never really felt like a tourist trap. Getting around is pretty straight forward and it’s generally safe, though the usual travel precautions apply. Tara also managed to timed the trip around the lantern festival, which was both a chaotic and magical experience.

Do you like temples, or wats, specifically? You’ll get your fill in a day here as they are on almost every street, every corner, with orange-robed monks darting all over the city. Wats are only outnumbered by Thai massage joints, followed maybe by coffee shops, so there’s a lot of pro’s to the city right away. Thailand proved to be just as nice and friendly as we had read about, one you get past the usual aggressive touts and scammers that always have an eye for freshly arrived tourists.

We toured the old city on the first day, had an amazing early dinner at a place called Ugo and turned in a bit early so we were rested for the next day, which held…elephants! Tara had been bubbling with excitement since booking this trip just for this reason. We made sure to look for an ethical tour with a reputable company (this can be hard to do – look for ones that specify no riding to start with, and really dig into the reviews online) and set off early in the morning the next day to make new friends.

Khao soi - my favorite dish on the entire trip.

A few hours drive north to the mountain highlands and we arrived at the Elephant Nature Park, a piece of land fairly deep in the jungle where the elephants might have roamed if humans weren’t around. Part of the greater elephant rescue non-profit, the park hosts elephants rescued from horrible conditioned and a often a lifetime of abuse. Dependent on humans now for their care, they are given the chance to life out the rest of their lives in relative peace and comfort, getting fed treats by enthralled tourist like ourselves. No riding, no hooks, just pumpkins and baths. Your dollars go toward their care and upkeep, and to help rescue other elephants (and dogs, cats, buffalos) as well. It’s amazing, and totally worth it. I’ll upload a few photos below but the elephant pics warrant their own blog post.

Squishy wet trunk plus banana can equal this face:

Uncomfortable Selfie, probably for both of us.

Our next day proved to be riskier than feeding a several ton animal with ptsd pumpkin treats – a street food tour. The very idea of this sets off every red flag and alarm I have. Like, red klaxons sounding, people closing hatches, buckling three-point harnessed king of alarming. I have the opposite of an iron constitution. My stomach is more like a house of cards set up on a park bench. One little bacteria laden breeze and it’s game over. Do you like cold fish soup, and presumably dysentery? How about meat on a stick, presumably with dysentery? Mango sticky rice, a dysentery filled desert? Well we had all those things, and more, yet somehow we all managed to dodge crippling diarrhea. Ann though was the only crazy, er brave I mean, one to try the cold fish soup (from a market with nary a kitchen in sight).

I’ll have the one with extra Campylobacter please

Green curry also probably with Campylobacter

Our food tour guide telling us which dish has the most Campylobacter

Hot pork with rice noodles sprinkles with Campylobacter

We stayed near the river to be walking distance to the one of the lantern launch bridges (you want to be near the Nawarat Bridge, it seems to be the main point), and close enough that the old city was a short tuk tuk ride away. There were two overlapping festivals; Yee Peng, which involved launching lanterns in the air, and Loy Krathong, which is the release of small handmade floats out onto the water. Both are nice to watch, but if you have to pick one the lantern festival is truly spectacular. It’s also a bit harrowing, and a complete shit show. There are a few officially sanctioned venues that host the launching of the lanterns, and they tend to book month in advance, with locations outside of the city. We had read a lot of conflicting information on whether or not the event was even going to be allowed, as it had been banned on and off over the years and official information was difficult to find. There were a couple bridges around the city that people had launched from in the past, so we hopped to be able to get near one of them and snap some photos. What we found instead were streets packed with locals and tourists. Think mardi gras, but with people carrying and launching flaming fire bombs all around you. The police made a few attempts while we were in the area to deter people from launching, but they couldn’t stop the human wave of festival goers and seemed to give up, contact to blow a whistle every now and then. Despite the crowds and chaos, the fire hazards and unregulated pyrotechnics, it was a one of a kind moment for all of us.

We wrapped up our time in Chiang Mai watching one of the festival parades, eating mango sticky rice Tara and Ann made at their Thai cooking class, and relaxing a bit by the pool. Tomorrow we head to Phuket for a bit of the Thai island life.

Where we stayed: Shangri-La. Nice large hotel near the river, walking distance from the old town.

What we did: Elephant Nature Park. Book ahead! These tours are limited in size and fill up quickly.