Sardines and Hashish
Lisbon might be a European capital, but it oozes a soporific charm like no other. Expecting hustle and bustle? You’re going to have to grab your fanny pack and take the train to Madrid. Things may have changed since Portugal joined the EU in the 1980’s, but it still has a sleepier feel you won’t find in any other large continental capital city. It’s a port city - in more ways than one - and made for strolling, wandering, and arguing over the largest piece of octopus at lunch. So pack your comfy shoes and leave your frenetic itinerary at home. Europe in winter can be hit or miss, but the cold weather didn’t follow me over from Boston. I ended up with mostly blue skies and moderate temps this quick visit, perfect for sightseeing.
The old town streets are narrow and serpentine with port wine shops on every corner, and the entire city is covered Azulejos – decorative tiles that keep the city cool in both senses of the word. You’ll also pass shop after shop selling cork products. By cork products, I mean cork everything: cork hats, gloves, ties, purses, cork corks, cork slippers, pens, notepads, toothbrushes even, probably. The cork trees are grown in the center of the country, and they refuse to - ahem - bottle up their love of the renewable resource.
Lisbon from above
The sites here are just as sleepy as the rest of the town, but even in the off season things can get a bit crowded, so you should still do as Rick Steves says and arrive early to avoid the lines. My friend, Kaitlan, met me for a couple days on her way to work in Zurich, and we toured the city together.
Any tour of Lisbon has to include the lovely views from the Castelo De Sao Jorge, the castle looking out over the city. Wind your way up to the top, stopping along the way to appreciate the tiled buildings strewn with laundry lines, and pick up a few souvenirs on the way down. The surrounding neighborhood of Alfama has its origins in medieval times, and it’s filled with great restaurants and charming little spots to take photos.
The fabulous peacock on the castle ground.
Tiles and Tunes.
Something to note when exploring around neighborhoods, especially Baixa and Bairro Alto – you will be asked to buy drugs. Usually hashish, maybe marijuana, maybe a little cocaine. Maybe marijuana with cocaine. Drug reform laws have decriminalized most drugs, though trafficking is still a crime. Possession and selling are now dealt with administratively with fines and counseling, not jail time. A polite no or wave of the hand is usually enough to ward them off, but as a tourist, expect to be asked frequently in these areas.
There’s plenty to do for a weekend in Lisbon but if you have a little more time a day trip to Sintra should be in the cards. Kings and aristocrats have summered here for generations and, though it’s probably too nice of a place for a commoner like you, it’s only a short 45 minute train ride from Rossio station. It’s home to the Pena Palace, which is fabulous in the best sense of the word. It’s been called a Disney castle, but to me looks like designed by someone who loves quirky architecture, animals, and hashish – and not necessarily in that order. Commissioned by Prince Ferdinand, a cousin to “Mad” King Ludwig of Neuschwanstein fame, he clearly had a penchant for the fabulous, for flare, and for blending design influences that should make your eyes bleed - but just comes across as fun as hell.
Contrast that with the older Moorish castle on the opposing hill. It has a more enchanted, Prince of Thieves vibe to it - though with less manic Alan Rickman - but plenty of verdant woods and ancient trees. You can walk between the two for a bit of exercise, though keep in mind if you do it in January – you will freeze your ass off if you don’t bring a jacket (like I did, because it was warm in the morning, ok, and I did have on a flannel shirt which is kind of like a jacket, except it’s not, and I had to buy an overpriced hoodie from the castle gift shop to stay warm and not shiver all the way back into town. Disclosure – I have made this mistake many, many times, and have a growing collection of overpriced light jackets with random tourist site/trap logos taking up room in my closet). A glass of wine in town wrapped up the tour of the city and we headed back to Lisbon.
Sintra views.
Penna Castle
Speaking of wine, lets talk port. Most of the grapes that grow up to be port are grown in the Douro Valley, which has the Douro river running through it, meeting the Atlantic ocean next to the city of Porto - hence the name. In olden times - before cell phones, tv remote controls, and Uber eats - the wine was loaded onto ships in Porto and sent off to far away destinations. To help make the trip without spoiling, a bit of spirits were added to halt the fermentation process, keeping the wines stronger and a bit more potent- and sweeter. And it is sweet alright, like when your friend who’s already had a few drinks tries to make you a cocktail and adds way too much simple syrup, THEN adds way too much liquor to compensate. It’s cloying, and this is coming from someone who’s favorite drink up until a few years ago was a Mai Tai (now it’s sangria, because I’m sophisticated and all grown up and I like my wine with fruit in it and shut up don’t judge me). It’s primarily a dessert wine…like the wine itself is the actual dessert. A flight of the stuff sent my pancreas into overdrive and my blood sugar through the roof, but the walk back to the hotel was soft and fuzzy, so there’s that. Speaking of walking, we strolled through the city’s former red-light district, remembered and marked now with some of its streets painted pink. These pedestrian-only roads are littered with bars, clubs of various levels of repute, throngs of people enthusiastically making both memories and bad decisions and - as Kaitlan pointed out - panty liners and vomit. Ah, to be young.
The Pink streets.
Lisbon lasted jus a few days but was a real treat, an easy city visit to enjoy. It’s the only city I’ve even been to that’s obsessed with sardines. Not the lame, generic ones you find on US supermarkets, these are like, proud, you know? The cans are bedazzled and glorious, and there are novelty passports you can get stamped as you tour all of the sardine shops around the city. It’s weird, yeah, but also charming and different and there’s nothing fishy about being proud of one of their main products. You don’t have to work hard to find this citiy’s charms, and that’s a nice change of pace from some of the more demanding destinations I’ve been to. I have a birthday coming up, so it’s time to start planning the next trip! Any thoughts on where I should go?
Oh, and don’t forget to try the egg custards from more than one shop. They are all a little different, each delicious in its own eggy way.
Pasteis de Belem - original egg custards.
Me in my natural habitat
Where I stayed: Be Poet Hotel - nice location, cute little hotel with decently sized rooms and good service. A little noisy at night but good value.
Santa Justa Lift looking very Blade Runner-esque in the night
Santa Justa Lift in the day only looks slightly less menacing.
Art on the waterfront.
The most dashing and neon of sardine shops.
