Bucharest: The Mos Eisley of Europe

Romania might have once been home to Vlad the Impaler, but today, something even more sinister resides there: the Bucharest airport. Bucharest’s Henri Coandă International Airport is Romania's busiest airport, and has more in common with Mos Eisley - the seedy spaceport town in Star Wars - than any other airport in Europe. It’s a “wretched hive of scum and villainy.” I’m referring mainly to the transportation to and from the airport – the actual airport facilities are fine and mostly up to date, though there was construction underway that resulted in a painfully long line to get through passport control. The taxis at the airport were once completely unregulated, leading them to some of the most expensive rides in the world – which is shocking considering how affordable the country is overall. At various times over the last thirty years it has gone from complete unregulated chaos, to being ruled by the mafia, to mostly well regulated, then back to anarchy. Tourist, leaving the airport have been robbed, swindled, and even murdered. Where does it stand now? Somewhere in-between. There is a ticketing system that is supposed to work like this: you queue up at a kiosk and a machine spits out a ticket from a selection of companies, and you match the number on the ticket to the taxi out front. Wait times should be a few minutes and you leave in a metered taxi, off to explore.

But the system is broken once again. The crowds coming off of the plane jockey and fight for a ticket, with many of the kiosks broken or unable to find an available taxi. After trying for about 30 minutes to get a slip with a taxi number, I finally had success, and walked outside to meet the taxi. You’re supposed to hold onto the slip – it identifies the taxi so you can report if it has any problems. You are not supposed to hand it over to the driver. What did the driver do when I walked up to the taxi? He snatched the ticket and put it in his pocket. Nope. I made him give it back, and as this point was about to walk away because my gut was telling me this guy was shady, but I was also tired, and ready to risk it a little to get the hell out of the airport. But then the next red flag went up: he refused to let me keep my luggage with me in the car. By luggage, I mean a small backpack. He was adamant it had to go in the trunk, and so I said hell no and walked away. Separating a tourist from their luggage is the oldest trick in the book (well one of them anyways). They can hold you hostage for outrageous fares until you pay up, or even just drive off when you get out of the car.

Not today, Satan.

I went back in the arrival hall, and spent another half hour trying to get another ticket for a reputable taxi without luck, finally decided to not put up with the bullshit, and headed downstairs and got a bus ticket. I like taking public from the airport when I can, especially in Europe, as it’s usually cheap and quick, but the taxies here should have also been cheap and cut the time by 2/3s. The bus is fine, but it’s also just a regular city bus and inexplicably doesn’t have any space for luggage, so by the time it departs looks more like a Sri Lankan train leaving for Kandy than anything else. Still, it was good enough, and for a just a couple bucks I was on my way into this city. It was a disappointing start though, and the taxi situation is an embarrassment to what is an otherwise pleasant country to visit. Uber, a company with it’s own unique issues, it the way to go in Bucharest, but it can be challenging getting a car -particularly in the evening- from the airport. To the airport and around town is great, and cheap, and I would suggest avoiding the predatory taxis at all cost.

Romania, and like any European country, is rich with history, but unlike many eastern European states that were once vassals of the Soviet Union, has a fairly well preserved/reconstructed old town that gives it more of western European feel than say, Bulgaria, though it still has an abundance of grey concrete block construction. I stayed in the center of the old town, which is filled with restaurants, bars, great historical building, and thumping music all hours of the night. Super.

I started out the first full day visiting the second largest building the world, and possibly number one in tribute to magalomania: the Palace of the Parliament. Built – well, started by- the dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, who was executed before it was completed, and designed to house the countries administration. Today, it sits mostly unused, with empty offices and halls, and each year it sinks a little more into the soft earth underneath it, slowly collapsing under the weight of it’s own crass and gaudy design. Oh, and hubris. That too.

Bucharest is otherwise filled parks, museums, beautiful churches, and wide tree-lined streets and squares. Cismigiu Garden is the city’s largest central park: it’s clean, peaceful and a great place to have a drink outside in one of the any semi-hidden beer gardens, or grab an ice-cream and go for a stroll.

I rented an electric scooter for a couple buck and used it to zip up to the outdoor National Village Museum. You can see buildings and other structures brought from all over the country and reassembled in the capital. It’s a nice look at historic Romania, and an inexpensive way to pass a few hours.

Romania is home to Transylvania, and a day trip to the mountains was in the cards for this trip. I’ve taken plenty of tours before, but most of them have been small group or semi-private. This was … not that. I was trapped for what was supposed to be a long 12 hour day, but ended up being 15 and a half due to terrible traffic on the way back. Trapped in a mouth-breathing, fart recycling, literal tourist trap on wheels isn’t exactly my idea of fun, but it turned out ok. The country seems to have embraced the kitsch surrounding the Dracula myth even if they don’t get exactly why foreigners are so enthralled with it, and tours of Vlad the Impaler’s castle (which he never lived at, or visited) is a highlight of the tour. Just know that any day trip will almost certainly take way longer than advertised. Vlad’s castle gets top billing on the day tour, but the stop at Peles Castle is really the highlight. It’s gorgeous and well maintained, and the ground and little town surrounding it is just as cute as well. The final stop on the tour is a city walk through Brasov, a medieval town with pastel colored buildings and ancient watch towers. We just had a brief time here, but it was worth the stop. While the tour was functional and efficient for my purposes, I would recommend renting a car and staging the night somewhere along the way - it would make for a much more flexible and leisurely tour.

Romania may be ramping up and enhancing its image as a tourist destination, but until it gets the arrival and airport situation sorted out, visiting will still come with a bit of a caveat. I’m flying home at 6 am tomorrow … and I’m taking an Uber to the airport.

How I got here: Round trip on Delta from Boston to Bucharest.

Where I stayed: Rembrandt Hotel in the heart of the Old Town. Decent and inexpensive hotel in a great location. A little noisy at night but not terrible.

What I did: Tour of Palace of Parliament. A cheap 45 minute tour that with a guide that had the most nasal voice I’ve ever heard. Worth seeing to provide some historical context to the building and city.

Also, here is a bonus tour of the Palace of Parliament so you can suffer, I mean enjoy, it with me: